


Accusation

by TechnologicalNoiz



Series: Longing [2]
Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén, Fallen Hero: Rebirth (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 20:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17904680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnologicalNoiz/pseuds/TechnologicalNoiz
Summary: the end of longing from Cy's pov





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> RETRIBUTION SPOILERS

Damn, you need to get out of here. You weren’t expecting the rangers to be so organized. Have they been training together? How have you missed the signs? You’ve been too distracted. Your thoughts preoccupied with Chen, taking comfort in his sturdy presence that makes you momentarily forget you goals. You’ve been getting way too close to him. Letting his company and strength support you, taking the edge off your constant emotional turmoil.

Shit! You stumble down the darkened streets of Los Diablos. The power in this area cut from the explosion you caused earlier as a distraction, but evidently not a good enough one. It was all part of your plan. You hadn’t, however, planned to throw the mayor’s adviser from a building. Time seemed to slow down. Helplessly watching as you inflicted the same fear and pain on someone else that you felt long ago. The wind rushing past your cut face, the ground rapidly approaching. You could feel the frantic chaos of their mind when they realised they were going to die. You remember the panic all too well when you realised you were to helpless to stop your rapid descent. You wish you died then.

You felt sick watching someone else fall, even if you are the one that caused it. You felt the bile rising in your throat. You are not a murder. You are now. You never wanted this. But you did. You do. You want to cause pain and despair. City-wide panic as they realise just what the government they trust so much is up to. You want to rip your tormentors to pieces, destroy their minds, make them go insane, cause them the same pain, fear and desperation that you felt. That you still feel.

Herald rushed to save the mayor’s adviser. He was too late. A sense of euphoric glee seized you as you saw their broken form on the pavement below. Hysteria threatening to take hold. You can’t lose control. Now now. Your knees buckled. You stumbled against the railing.

The fight that ensued was a disaster. Lady Argent’s claws pierced your armor as they raked across your back. You just barely managed to dodge a debilitating blow. Your ribs cracked, arm possibly broken when Steel’s heavily armored fist slammed into you. The circuits of your suite nearly fried when Ortega unleashed a charge that must have been all he had left. You ran out of there as fast as you could, bringing a building down with your nanovores, hoping to stall any pursuit.

You are on the verge of passing out. You can feel it. Every breath hurts, every step a struggle to battle the darkness threatening to take you. You round the corner to an alley, stumbling against the wall. When you look up you can’t help but let out a breathless chuckle, which the vocal distorters turn into a growl.

Of course Steel would be here. You weren’t paying enough attention. It’s been a struggle to stay awake. In your panic your subconscious mind lead you to where it thought you would feel safe. And you do, strangely, feel safe with him.

Slowly you bring the hand of your uninjured arm to your helmet, releasing the catch. You hear a small hiss as it releases, pulling it off and dropping it.

You make eye contact and smile as best as you can through the pain. There is no shock on his face. “You already knew didn’t you?” With that you collapse, mind finally overcome by the darkness. One final thought comes to you. You lost.

_Darkness… quite. Before a flash of light. Pain, all consuming. Your mind reels. Your body floats. Turmoil. You are tosses into a sea of churning thoughts._

_Panic. You kick, flail, trying to break the surface. To gasp for air. It’s no use. You are stuck. Trapped in a web of pain and deceit._

_Another flash of blinding light. White walls. The smell of antiseptic and blood fill your nose. You cough, struggling. You can’t move. Hands cold and sharp grasp at you. Pulling you down, down into… nothing… into a realm of constant fear. Of agony._

_You want to leave. You want to scream. You fight with everything you have, but it’s no use. The hands pull you down deeper, faster. Maybe it’s for the best? Maybe you should just give up. Let them have you. Let the cold bony fingers hold you, biting into your flesh colouring it purple as blood oozes from your skin. From your eyes._

_All of existence distorts, bleeding orange from the very atoms of the universe, shifting into lines, patterns. So familiar. Your patterns, the lines that mark your skin. A scorching reminder that you can never truly be free._

You awake with a start. Cold sweats drench your body. You hurt everywhere. Sitting slowly, disoriented, you start to take stock of your surroundings. The first thing you notice is that you aren’t wearing a shirt. There  is nothing covering your markings except for the bandages wrapped around your wounds.

Your breathing quickens as panic starts to set in. Bile rising to your mouth again. You swallow leaving a bitter taste on your tongue. You force yourself to breathe slowly. What happened? You were fighting, running then… that’s right, Chen. He caught you. He knows. He has turned you back over to the farm. Returning government property.

No… Stop. Breathe. It hurts. Good, that means you are not drugged. This is not the farm. If it was you would have likely been strapped down. There would be dampeners in place. There are none. You start to look around. You are sitting on a soft bed in a dimly lit room, which you are thankful for. Your head is killing you. Faintly you feel another presence in the room. Another mind.

You know that presence well. It’s Chen. You look over to see him sitting in a chair next to the head of the bed, watching you carefully. You can’t read his thoughts. You don’t even try. You don’t want to know what he thinks about what you really are. You don’t want his judgment. It may be what finally breaks you beyond repair.

The room is silent for a long  time before he speaks. “Why didn’t you tell us?” is all he asks. Not judgment. Accusation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first fanfic I've ever written. I actually wrote this part before Accusation so some things don't really match up but oh well... I don't care enough to go back and fix it... Working on too many other things

“Why didn’t you tell us?” You can hear the accusation in Chen’s voice as he stares you down.

“What do you mean, ‘why didn’t I tell you?’” You cross your arms defensively. “I heard the way you talked about us. You are repulsed by Re-genes, hate us even.” You feel his mental flinch, like he’s been slapped. Chen opens his mouth to protest, then closes it again. You glare at him and continue, “Ortega is creeped out by us. The only one who would have been even somewhat understanding was Anathema and he’s dead now. I watched him kill himself.” You don’t want to remember that. “And besides what the hell was I supposed to say?!” You’ve raised your voice, nearly shouting. “Hey guys, by the way, you know those things not-so-secretly created by the government that you despise? Yeah I am one.”

You uncross your arms and start pacing. Your eyes are most definitely not tearing up. Shit, you need a smoke.

“I was terrified Chen. I still am… possibly more so, now that I know what they are really capable of.” You hate how your voice breaks at that admission. With shaking hands you pull the pack of cigarettes and lighter out of your pocket, nearly dropping them as you pull one out. You are unable to light it. Your hands are too unsteady.

You feel his eyes on you, watching as you mask starts to fracture, crumbling to dust.

“Fucking shit!” You yell, throwing the pack and lighter across the room. The one in your hand falling to the ground. You feel your eyes prickling as the tears start streaming down your face, your breath quickening on the edge of panic. Not here, not now. You bring your hands up to cover your face, turning your back to Chen. You breathe deep trying, and failing, to recover.

“Cyrus,” His voice is close. His voice, your name. A name you took for yourself. You are no longer a string of numbers and letters, no longer government property. “It’s okay.” His voice is laced with concern. You can feel it in his thoughts. He is actually worried about you.

“It’s not okay!” You yell, whipping around to face him again. “I have done terrible things and will continue to do terrible things until it kills me, one of you stop me, i am re-captured, pr the fucking Farm is destroyed!” You don’t bother to mask the bitterness in your voice, looking out the window and wishing you weren’t too injured to run. This is too personal, too much, too intense…

With your attention still out the window, Chen slowly stands and walks towards you. He wraps his arms around you holding you tight but carefully, like you might break if he pulls you too close. You could have avoided it, but you didn’t, just letting him pull you tighter.

“Then I’ll stop you. I’ll keep you safe.” He says it like it’s so simple. He truly believes it. That he can stop you from your own self-destruction, that he can protect you. He’s so gentle with you, like you are one of those puppies he was given to retrain his hands. The who situation is so ridiculous that you can’t help but let out a small, shaky, strained, breathless laugh. It hurts to laugh. That’s what you get for having broken ribs.

Never in a million years did you think you would end up being held so carefully. By Chen of all people… and yet… here you are. Cautiously you return the embrace, laying your head on his shoulder.

“I waited for you.” You whisper. “After Heartbreak… I thought you would come for me.” You can feel yourself tearing up again, pulling him tighter, your voice a barely audible whisper as you continue, “I knew you wouldn’t. The Farm covers their tracks too well. But still… I hoped… Eventually I realised it would never happen.” He doesn’t say anything holding you tight as you speak. “I didn’t realise how much time I spent in their… care…” You shudder at the memory. You can still feel the restraints against your skin, the needles. “Or that they said I was dead until after I escaped again. Once I did, I considered reaching out, finding you and Ortega, but I figured both of you, and myself, would be better off. If you didn’t know I was alive you wouldn’t be able to stop me. I could continue down my self-destructive path and go out in a blaze of glory, taking the Farm down with me. I could release those few I care for still imprisoned there. If they are still alive that is… Now my plan is ruined and they are the ones who will have to deal with the consequences of my failure.”

You are quiet for a moment. Just standing there in the comfortable warmth that is Chen’s arms. You’ve grown close over the past few months. “I’m sorry Chen. I really am.”


End file.
